At the age of 21, James had an accident which caused damage to the part of his brain responsible for memory. As a result, he finds it difficult to remember things from his day, like who supported him earlier or what he did. 

But although James sometimes struggles to remember daily events, he never forgets Nathan.

James met Nathan, his partner, at the gym around three years ago. At first, James found it hard to approach Nathan, but James’ support worker Carl knew Nathan’s colleague, who also supported him at the gym, and suggested they join in with group exercises like volleyball, which helped them to get to know each other. He was, according to James, “exactly what I wanted.”  

As their relationship grew stronger, Carl and the support team continued to support James at the gym. Carl has worked with James for over ten years, so understands when he needs support, and when he can do things independently. Over time, the team began to step back as James and Nathan started spending more time together. Their first date was the start of something special, and Carl and the team remained there when needed, providing support to make sure James was able to love as independently as possible.

Holding on to memories

The support team, including Carl (pictured above), have worked to make sure James and Nathan can stay connected when apart. For years, they have worked on creative ways to help James remember things, like creating video diaries on his iPad, so he can look back at the day and remember what happened. With a partner on the scene, they found new ways of ensuring James remembered everything – they found that by sending voice messages to each other, James could remember the things they talked about better, through replaying the messages. This has been a great way for them to communicate and stay close.

James’ memory might not always work in the way he would like, but the love he shares with Nathan is something he will always remember.

Growing in love

As James and Nathan’s relationship has grown, James’ support needs have reduced, allowing the couple more time together on their own. In 2025, one of James’ goals is to plan overnight stays with Nathan at his flat, spending quality alone time together.

It’s clear that the support Carl and the team have provided over the years has helped James live a full and independent life, one where he can enjoy relationships and set new goals for the future. Reflecting on the difference their support has made, James said:

 “If it wasn’t for knowing Carl, I wouldn’t have done half of the things that I’ve done.”